Feelings.

What do you call that feeling when you’re hollow inside? You know that feeling when your body is equal to the bark of that old tree which even a kid can scrape out bit by bit. You know that feeling when your heart is the shattered pieces of the mirror everyone throws at you. That feeling when you think you’re too sensitive to be feeling every thing around you. Every word. Every action. Every laugh. Every whisper. Thinking it’s about you. Are you aware of the feeling when every other person you meet seems to be over powering you. That feeling when you have friends, but no shoulder to cry on. That feeling when you lie down on your bed, clutching the sheets so tight and let out a deaf scream because you don’t want them to know you’re weak. That feeling when you’re sad but you can’t explain the reasons because you believe no one will get you. That feeling when everything makes you feel more awful about your own self. That feeling when the skies don’t seem infinite anymore. That feeling when you can’t trust your happy moments because you know sad one’s are coming along. That feeling when your pretence seems more real. When reality is scarier than your worst nightmares. 

    I don’t know how to open up to people without being judged. I don’t know how to tell someone I’m not fine without feeling clingy. I don’t know how to love someone without drowning in it. I don’t know how to ignore those judgemental eyes on me everytime I walk the hallway. I don’t know how to wake up happy, after a night of silent screams and over-flowing tears. I don’t know how to be normal after you’ve made every effort to break me down. I don’t know. If you had the power to read my mind, you’d be in tears already.

Picture Courtesy: InstaID – rahul.__.jain